Birthday Blues? Not Me.

Lately, I've been in what my mom would call a blue funk. Three weeks ago today we buried my sweet cousin, Sarah. She was 20 and had been fighting cancer for 8 years. And I'm just so angry at God. So angry. Maybe I've been struggling with it because she was so young.... Kids just shouldn't have to go through what this girl went through for so long. And then last week, Tom's cousin, Rusty, died. Cancer as well. Diagnosed just three weeks ago. Three weeks from the time he went to the Dr. for what he thought was an ulcer. Can you imagine? When Tom called to tell me when the funeral was, I thought "Great - just how I want to spend my birthday". Selfish? Yes. I know. And I was very sad that this great man is no longer in our lives. He was like a brother to my man, so of course I love him! But to spend my entire birthday at a funeral - ugh. We got to that part of the funeral where the pastor asks if anyone wants to stand up and say something. (BTW - I hate that part. I always WANT to say something, but then I worry about looking stupid and end up regretting that I don't go up.) Anyways, Tom stood up. Tom is not one who does a lot of talking in front of people, so this was a really big deal for him. He told a story about Rusty and talked about how important family is. I was so, so proud on my man for standing up in front of all of those people and celebrating the life of his cousin. And, all of a sudden, it hit me. This is EXACTLY how I wanted to sepnd my birthday. With my soon-to-be husband and his family. A sad family, but a family full of love. So by the time we got home, Tommy offered to pick up dinner while I took a bubble bath. What a man, huh? So now I'm happily snuggled in pjs waiting for PF Changs. A perfect end to my birthday....and I seemed to have snapped out of my blue funk.