O.W.A.A. - Part Deux

So... I tried to call my mother today on my way home from work and her cell phone went right to voice mail. WTF???? Why isn't she answering? I was hoping for some tales of her OWAA trip so I could make fun of her. Did my normally responsible mother let her battery die?? I can't believe she would forget to pack her cell phone charger for her cross-country jaunt..... She's normally so prepared. And I mean that. My mother is a great packer for trips. She's almost as good as my BFF, Lori, who is probably the best getting-ready-for-vacation person I know. My mom would be the best, but she doesn't make lists. And, quite frankly, to-do lists are what separates us from monkeys.

But I digress.... What could she possibly be doing that she can't pick up her cell phone to speak to her favorite child? Maybe she and her college chums are just busy sitting outside a cafe drinking margaritas and oogling construction workers. Or maybe she ran off with a guy she met last night at the Blue Lotus Tattoo shop. So, just in case she decided to leave Curtie and not return to Columbus, I stopped by her house on the way home and inventoried her jewelry. My dad won't want it and she has some good stuff. Plus I can easily beat my sister to it since she has to drive all the way from Cincy.

I'm just sayin....


8:00pm UPDATE - I just received a phone call from Cheryl. Allegedly, the Wild Women of Wisconsin were at the Frank Lloyd Wright house & they had to turn off all cell phones while they were on the tour. Sure...I believe you, mom. Wink wink.

She also wanted me to know that these ladies attended grades K-12 together...so they've known each other practically their whole lives. I told her that I would print a retraction.

O.W.A.A.

So during my evening commute today I receive a photo message from my mom. That in itself is pretty good considering that she has just recently learned the fine art of texting. She sends me a pic of a sign for a tattoo shop....The Blue Lotus Tattoo shop to be specific. It's official. Cheryl has lost her mind.

Some background information: My mom has this friend....we'll call her Ann. (Ok - that really IS her name. I'm just too tired tonight to think of a good fake name.) They were BFFs in High School and they lived together at Ohio State. (I think that's how the story goes.....) Anyways, they've gotten close again recently now that they are both retired and crazy. Ann lives in Alabama and it seems like they are ALWAYS together. Cheryl will deny this, but for people who live states and states apart, they are often in the same state at the same time. But I'm okay with that, because Ann has good taste and they do some good shopping when they are together. And I have it all worked out that - God forbid - if something happens to Cheryl & Curtie, Ann is going to adopt me.

So ANYWHO.... Ann drove up from Alabama, spent the better part of last week in Ohio, and left with mom yesterday to drive to Wisconsin to visit another old college girlfriend. Are you kidding me??? That's a LOT of driving if you ask me! But, alas, no one did, so off they went. I told my mom that I was going to call them OWAA - Older Women Across America. I called mom right after I received the tattoo shop text and she just did a lot of giggling. I suggested she get something bad ass tattooed on her - like a quilt with flames coming out the sides - but she said they already have it all figured out. I think she may have been drunk.

I just hope she makes it back from her cross country shenanigans safe and sound. I think I may have to have her committed. And I could...I have medical power of attorney. So don't push me, Cheryl.